How to stack an engagement ring, wedding band and anniversary rings

The traditional order, as GIA outlines it, puts the wedding band on the finger first and the engagement ring on top, so the band stays closest to the heart. A chronological order reverses that: the engagement ring first, then the band, in the order the rings were received. GIA calls this the less common method.

Both are customs, not rules, and some people wear the rings on different fingers or hands altogether. The fourth finger of the left hand is the traditional place for both rings, but customs differ: the right hand is usual in parts of Europe, including Russia, Germany, Poland and Greece, and in some communities in India and elsewhere, so ask the wearer what they expect. If you want the background on those traditions, see the piece on engagement rings in eastern and western traditions.

Here is the practical test. Put the rings on in each order and look at them from the top and the side. The setting of the engagement ring often decides it: a tall prong setting or a halo can sit awkwardly against a band that is worn above it, while a low solitaire is easy to place either way.

Yes, and it is a common choice, but it has a cost worth knowing. GIA's stacking advice is that a stack looks most cohesive when it keeps to one metal, one stone setting or one design type, and that mixing metals works best with a buffer ring in between. It also cautions that stacking softer metals such as gold with harder ones such as platinum can cause damage over time because of the difference in hardness.

In plain terms, rings that touch rub against each other all day. If one is softer, it tends to take more of the wear. GIA holds that 14K and 18K gold, which are alloyed with other metals for strength, offer a good balance of durability and appearance for daily wear, that gold's durability depends on its karat and alloy, and that platinum is very wear resistant. The table shows how the common pairings behave.

Aim for variety with a clear lead. Alternate band thickness so the rings flow from one to the next, mix thick and thin, and put the thickest ring at the bottom of a stack of different widths, as GIA's stacking advice suggests. GIA's own example starts with a bold statement ring and adds thinner bands in different textures.

Two practical points follow. If you use similar widths, make them clearly the same or clearly different, so the stack looks planned rather than accidental. And if you are choosing a plain band to sit beside a ring you already own, hold the two together before deciding.

Width also changes how the rings feel. GIA suggests that rings with wide shanks usually need to be a bit larger because they fit more snugly, which is covered in the sizing section below. The guide to choosing a wedding band covers widths and profiles in more detail.

This depends mostly on the engagement ring's setting, and it is worth settling before you buy the band. A straight band lies flat against a ring with a low, smooth profile. A ring with a tall head, a halo or a wide cluster of stones may push a straight band away, leaving a V-shaped gap.

You have three options:

1. Accept the gap. Some people like the small space; it shows each ring's outline.
2. Use a contoured band. A curved or notched band is made to wrap around the engagement ring's setting so the two sit close together. A bridal set is one way to buy an engagement ring and band designed to sit together.
3. Put a spacer between them. A plain, thin band fills the gap and can double as the buffer between two metals.

Stones set across the top of a band, such as pavé or channel, also touch their neighbours when the rings sit flush. That is the point in the next section about diamond-on-diamond contact.

An eternity band carries stones around the full circle, and a half-eternity carries them across the front with plain metal at the back. GIA observes that couples often add an eternity ring to their stack on a significant anniversary, and describes placing it above the engagement ring.

Three points make them easier to live with. First, the stones will touch whatever sits beside them, so a plain metal band next to a stone-set one gives the stones a buffer. Second, eternity rings can be very difficult to resize, so ask a jeweller whether a band can be resized, and by how much, before you buy. Third, think about where the most heavily set band sits: between two plain bands it has metal on both sides of it, which is worth trying.

If you are adding one years after the first rings, bring the engagement ring and the band you already wear when you try it. Widths and heights that looked fine alone can change the whole stack.

They can scratch each other, and diamonds can chip. A diamond is rated 10 on the Mohs scale, and only a diamond can scratch a diamond. But hardness is not toughness: Diamonds can break more easily in certain directions, and a hard blow can cleave or fracture the gem. A diamond will also scratch softer gems, which is why GIA suggests storing jewellery individually in padded boxes or soft pouches.

For a stack, that points to a few habits:

• Consider a protective setting such as a bezel, which GIA credits with protecting the girdle against bumps, for stones that sit against another ring.
• Take the stack off for heavy activity such as exercise and gardening, as GIA suggests.
• Store the rings separately at night, in a soft pouch or a lined box, rather than in a pile.
• Have the prongs checked: GIA suggests every six months for an engagement ring.

Gold and platinum also wear differently. GIA holds that platinum is very wear resistant and will not lose shape or abrade over decades of wear, while gold rings benefit from regular polishing. The jewellery care guide covers cleaning and inspection.

Size the finger for the whole stack, not for each ring alone. Rings with wide shanks usually need to be a bit larger because they fit more snugly, so speak to a jeweller about bridal sets wider than 4 to 5 mm. A stack of several bands can reach that width, so it can feel tight even if each ring fits on its own.

GIA also points out that fingers shrink in the cold and swell in the heat, so a measurement can differ between a cool morning and a warm afternoon, and that the ring must slide over the knuckle without falling off. Try the full stack at different times of day if you can. A comfort-fit band has a gently curved inner surface and is worth asking about for wider bands. See the ring size guide for measuring at home.

When you are ready to try combinations, you can sketch ideas in the design studio or try rings at a showroom, and bring the engagement ring you already wear.